I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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