$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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