Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
