So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
