We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Randomize
