Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
