I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
