If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
