My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
