Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
