Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
