The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
