Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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