Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
