I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
