You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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