Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
