She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just gift wrapped bread.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
