I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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