She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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