I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
this must be what syphilis tastes like
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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