It's like God shit irony all over that family
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize