Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
