Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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