I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
