ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
