i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
