I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize