My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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