I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
