there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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