I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
