i'm signing you up for texting rehab
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
