my phone needs a breathalizer
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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