he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize