btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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