I didn't shave. On purpose
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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