Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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