I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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