you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
