Can Purell be used as lube?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
