You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
