She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
