I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
