He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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