I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
