He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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