why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
i out mim tonsoeep
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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