Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize