Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize