Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
so much tequila, so little girl.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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