Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
