No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
