I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
