Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
