How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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