why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
